Not everybody welcomes or is ‘at home’ to guests. I’m concerned myself nowadays with the question how far it depends on the ‘commandments’ of hospitality and the way they match or clash according to the mindset of the guest and the host/ess.
Receiving guests can happen out of necessity as well as for pleasure. Due to this, many keep an open house not just for those who they love and respect, with whom they spend the time happily together, but for those with whom they don’t agree on anything or have very little in common.
A good host strives to make the guest feel great. This has several stages.
- A guest may do a lot of things, but not everything.
- A guest shall do all those things that the housekeepers, but nothing more.
- A guest does whatever s/he wants, even such things that the hosts don’t.
Guests usually cherish the hope of or long for being comfortable. With or without this, however, there are several types of them.
- The guest allows him/herself less when staying at someone’s house than at home.
- The guest behaves in the same manner everywhere.
- The guest takes more liberties at others’ place than s/he admits to anyone else in her/his household.
“Make yourself at home” – we say when trying to please someone. But what if our guest doesn’t feel good at home, or wants to do things that are not compatible with our approach or that s/he would not even dream of in her/his own residence?
The point of hospitality is or would be to have a kind host as a guest and a nice guest as a host for the sake of collecting delightful experiences and pleasant memories.